Notes To A Younger Wayne

This post is inspired by Nadine’s most recent blog post. What would you tell a younger version of yourself?

Notes To A Younger Wayne:

1. Hey 7 year old Wayne. Don’t be afraid of World War 3. So far the world has managed to avoid a nuclear holocaust. I know, I know, you saw that children’s play and up to that point you couldn’t even imagine the possibility of nuclear war and now you’re terrified the world is going to blow up. The only solution being offered to you is making origami cranes as a symbol of peace. For what it’s worth, you’re absolutely correct; origami is not a realistic solution to prevent nuclear annihilation. Your teacher won’t EVER get that. Keep it to yourself and just make the stupid paper bird.

2. Sorry to break this to you, but George Lucas will wreck Star Wars. Greedo will shoot first. The prequels will all suck. Try not to spend well over a decade anticipating these films. You’re in for a huge letdown. While we’re at it, the same is true of Aliens and Terminator. Don’t bother to watch anything past the sequels.

3. Hey adolescent Wayne. Grade 7 and 8 is going to be awesome! Sean and Sterling will remain friends for life. You’re going to have a blast. Would it kill you to try talking to more girls? You say “you’re not afraid”. Prove it! I triple dare you!

4. Grade 9 is going to suck. You will be eating through a straw for a couple months after you break your face. I won’t tell you how, because after it happens you will never do that activity again. Right now you are enjoying this activity and I want you to have fun. As much as the accident will suck, you will learn something valuable about yourself.

5. Senior High school Wayne: Playing guitar is awesome. Your hair is long, your jeans are ripped at the knee, you’re wearing brown docs (rebelling against the rebellion). Also, you’ve written, directed, and produced your first play and started a band “Fresh Garden Salad”. Grunge is cool. Cobain is still alive (not for long though). Here’s the thing. Somehow you became cool. Surprise huh? What still don’t believe me? “It’s cool not to be cool.” Sorry dude. You are now the quintessential cool guy. Deal with it. Preferably by hitting on Meagan’s friends.  So what if she’s “Sean’s little sister?” Man, you’re killing me!

6. 20 something Wayne. Quit CD Warehouse! Go back to school, finish your honours, and get your masters. The government will pay you a lot of money to write. Much more than the $10/hour you’re making now. I know you don’t think you are “suited to a desk job” and you like the free concert tickets. Bullshit!

What would you tell a younger version of yourself? Feel free to respond here or at the Adorkable Thespian.


9 responses to “Notes To A Younger Wayne

  1. Awesome post. Thanks for that. 🙂 Off to check out Nadine’s.

  2. nadinethornhill

    – Dear 7 Year Old Wayne:

    I was afraid of nuclear war too. And I could not do origami to save my life, let alone all of humanity! Also? You are so cute I can barely stand it. Your horizontal stripes make me nostalgic for 1980.

    -Dear 20 Something Wayne:

    Your future-self is wise. I think you’ll find higher edu-muh-cation very fulfilling. In the meantime, 20-something Nadine has recently moved to Otttawa and comes to your store frequently. She has bad hair and an affinity for retro-wuss rock. You will no doubt judge her as being tragically dorky, but if you can look past that we can both add a ten-year bonus a fantastic friendship!

    • You’re pretty adorable in your velour too 🙂

      I can hardly wait for that time travel Apple application that will allow our younger 20 year old selfs to meet. That’s going to be awesome.

  3. Dear 7 year old wayne – I too am petrified of WWIII = Hello “The Day After” nightmares for weeks! Don’t worry !
    OMG that pic of you is Stellar – and yet that hair and goatee totally suit you.

    • Forgot about “The Day After”. That was traumatic too. It sounds like WWIII was a pretty common fear for our generation.

      I’m glad you liked the pics. That’s my brother on the back of the motorcycle. My cousin is driving it. That was a great day. I still remember it.

      I didn’t have the goatee for very long but I had long hair (various lengths for a very long time.) I’m about 23 in that pic. I don’t remember it being taken, but I’m pretty sure it was Jay who took it.

  4. post-fab princess

    I *love* this post. Awwww, I feel so bad for Grade 9 Wayne. ):

  5. Love the 2 pics…I did not know you were a die hard Senators fan lol. The bike is shocking too… you are such bad boys lol 🙂
    Can’t wait to read more.

    • Belinda:
      Welcome to the Many Faces of Wayne and thanks for your comment. I thought you would enjoy the pics of Jeff and I on the bike. You knew me during the long haired period so I’m sure that pic was less of a shock. 🙂

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